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                Tonight was my first time taking care of my son alone.  It went pretty well I think.  He was grumpy for part of the night, and he was making totally stupid adorable coo-ing and random noises while smiling the rest of the night, and that right there, I know, is what makes it all worth it.

                I can’t help but to think that it’s the same day that my father had a lung biopsy for potential lung cancer.  I also can’t help but to think that ever since my father retired from his job at Boeing, his health has went downhill really quickly.  It’s not right.  You work hard all of your life, so that when you get older, you can relax, and enjoy the finals decades of your life.  Instead of my Dad getting the chance to do that, he spends four hours a day in the hospital getting infusions to keep his kidneys from failing from his parathyroid problems.  He really needs to be around to watch his grandchild grow up, because I know that the only reason I am as strong (and stubborn) as I am, is because of my father.  He’s the one person I look up to in my life.  Him and I have never really been that close, but we really don’t have to be, we both have an understanding of each other.

                My father retiring also reminds me that I’m never going to be able to retire unless I become really, REALLY rich, fairly quick, there’s not going to be a social security fund for me but the time I’m that age, if I even make it that long.  It’ll be nice if the world’s finances would stabilize between now and then, because right now, the way I see it, the dollar is going to be worth nothing, very soon.  But this rant is for a later time, I’m tracking off course here.

                Then I can’t help but to think what kind of father that I’ll be.  I don’t really feel like a good one, but I’m trying my hardest to be the best person that I can be for him and Tahnee both.  I constantly feel like it’s never enough.  This is all new to me, and I’m better at sticking with what I know.  Technology, photography, weather, emergency response scenarios, survival, I am excellent at.  Raising a child, hell if I know.  I sure am thankful that Tahnee’s good with kids, don’t know what I would do without her in this situation.

                What I do know, is that I am very thankful for everything I have in my life at the moment.  Good family, good future family (I’ll get to that in a minute), good close friends, good job, nice house, nice car, love everything that I do, and a very attractive girl that loves me, even though she has a hard time trusting me.

                This last weekend, my son, Tahnee, Tahnee’s Mom, and I went to Liberal, Kansas to spend time with her family.  If you don’t know where Liberal, Kansas is, Google it, it’s literally in the middle of nowhere.

                Anyways, I went to the middle of nowhere to visit future family in law, and actually had a good time.  I had already expected to have an alright time, but never thought that it would be a totally good and fun time.  That definitely says something.  I’m not sure what yet, but it definitely says something.

                It’s also definitely strange how much Tahnee’s cousin Ashley looks so much like Tahnee.  They look and act like twin sisters.

                This week, it’s non-stop work, as usual, an Iron Man 3 premiere, with a showing of Serenity afterwards at Midnight.  Date night will be fun.  My concern of course, was being able to find a babysitter after I bought the tickets so that I could be sure that we could make the movies.  I should stop being so concerned about things, so many people wanted to babysit.  Totally awesome that so many people wanted to help out.  That’s the stuff that makes me feel good about life.

                Also, it’s pretty important to note that Star Trek: Into Darkness, premieres in half a month, and I already have tickets for that, too.   And a babysitter lined up for that night.

                I need to start taking better care of myself soon.  I need to be around for my son.

                That’s all for tonight.  Enjoy the new blog site.  And enjoy Craig Ferguson, he’s pretty amazing.

Goodnight, Internet.

MM

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