My son is driving me crazy tonight, and it’s driving a wedge between Tahnee and I. Neither of us is able to live our own lives because of him. Neither of us can spend time together anymore. I see him drive her to the brink of a breakdown and I go in to try to help, and I get frustrated with him in the process, which drives her even more crazy, which drives me more crazy. It’s non-stop. There’s 18 more years of this shit, and I really am not looking forward to it.
I just put on my Facebook status that he’s driving me crazy tonight, and all of these people are liking my status. Fuck you all. I’m glad to see that my misery is something that you all like.
And I’m just waiting for my Mom’s typical response, “Payback’s a real bitch, isn’t it?” Unsupportive advice might as well not be said. Just pisses me off more.
He’s driving us both to the point of extreme exhaustion. And I’m not happy with my life because of him. I usually just keep myself busy, but I’m so exhausted anymore that I just try to chill at home, but he’s always screaming bloody murder when I’m home, and Tahnee shouldn’t have to be the one that’s always handling the situation, although she does far more with him than I do. So I try to help, but we both know that I’m not helping at all. And that gets frustrating.
I love spending time with Tahnee, but I don’t look forward to coming home anymore, because I know he’s just gonna drive me crazy again. Everyone keeps saying that it’s gonna get better, but has yet to. Pretty soon he’ll be walking and talking, and that’s gonna be better? At least right now he’ll mostly stay in one spot and I can walk away for a few minutes when he’s driving me nuts. How’s walking and talking gonna be better? I’m not buying it. When he’s in a good mood, he’s fun to have around. But more times than not, he’s crying or screaming. I hate feeling this way, but I just don’t wanna be here anymore.
I’m fed up.
In other news, I passed a kidney stone today. Only two more to go. *twirls finger*
I really wonder if I’ll ever be truly happy again.