So the announcement first. Changed up my email back to the way it was before I worked at Hubris. Having Hubris as a backup internet service provider and my email provider is proving to be a very expensive backup plan, so I’m getting rid of it. They are by far the most reliable ISP that I’ve ever used, but it’s no longer worth the $150/month I am paying. So, this means that my email will change back to Gmail services, and I will no longer have faxing services. If you can’t do email instead of faxing, you need to catch up with technology anyways, to be blunt.
So. The only email addresses that will be valid are:
mike.mathia@gmail.com – Personal email, anything that’s not professionally related.
hypertechs@gmail.com – for Hypertech Computer Solutions – http://hypertechs.net
kd0ijo@gmail.com – For anything ham radio or emergency management related.
skywarnnet@gmail.com – For anything weather related, weather reports, photos, video, etc.
mmmodeling@gmail.com – For Michael Brian Photography – http://michaelbrianphotography.com
deejay69@gmail.com – For anything music or DJ related. http://energy981.com
eagleeye69@gmail.com – Hacker information, anything security related, and forwards.
skywarn69@yahoo.com – Anything related to eBay, craigslist, or Paypal. Taking donations.
<<< End of Announcement >>>
Now, it’s time to request your feedback on something of a personal nature. I have people living with me at my house. My best friend, Kelli, her sister Emily, my ex, mother of my child, Tahnee, and of course, my son, Lucas. Kelli is awesome and couldn’t possibly be a better roommate. Emily’s cool, goddamn teenagers (inside joke). Tahnee is the issue of discussion.
The issue with Tahnee is that some days, she can be totally amazing and cool, and a dream come true for me. But more and more days lately, she’s being completely the opposite, assumes too much out of a simple statement, rude, and just being an asshole when I am trying to have a simple and easy conversation. Her and I have a long history, and I really love having my son living in the same house as me. And when Tahnee’s being cool, I really like having her around as well. But lately she’s just been getting worse. I guess, here’s the question. At what point do you throw in the towel and give up and just have her be gone and out of your life? At what point do you just give up from the overflow of drama? At what point for you, is it too much and you just say fuck it? I do not tolerate any drama, and she’s been all of mine lately. I want things to stay in the same house, but at the same time I want to move on and date someone that will treat me with the respect that I deserve, and I cannot do that with her living here. So I’m pretty torn over the whole thing. I’m ready to give up and not try to make things work with her because if I do try to make things work, then she’ll pull some of the same crap she did before that caused us to break up. What’s the point of trying to make something work when you cannot trust the person anymore? What happens when they fuck up so much that you can no longer forgive them?
I know you’re used to answers from me instead of questions, as I am really usually pretty damn good at solving almost anyone’s problems, ironic that I cannot solve my own at this point. I’m really not sure on what to do. I want to have a good holiday season with everyone, but after that’s over, something definitely needs to change, and she’s made it obvious by now that it’s not going to be her. I know that it’s important that a family should be all under the same roof, and I know it’s important that a family be truly happy. Right now, the truly happy part isn’t happening. So what’s worse? Living apart but happy, or living together and miserable in hopes that it’ll all work itself out later? Lucas is only nine months old, he’s not quite old enough to detect unhappiness yet, and I refuse to have him see me unhappy.
One last thing. Family means everything to me. My immediate family refuses to interact with me lately for numerous stupid and ignorant reasons. My extended family lives in Kansas City so I can’t see them as often as I should, and I’m going to make a better effort to see them in 2014. But family is important to me regardless.
I just want to be happy. Is that so much to ask?
What do I do?
MM
The World of Mike Mathia 
If you feel you have exhausted EVERY way of having a happy family, then it’s time to separate and take the time to see if y’all need each other. I believe, personally, that a family should work things out, fir the sake if the kids, however, me and my wife took almost four months apart to figure ourselves and our relationship it. Growing up in one unhappy home is worse for kids than two separate happy homes. We drifted apart, between work, school, kids, etc. And both did things we wished we could take back. As I look back at it now, I know that I could have done more, a LOT more, to make things better at home. So I take full responsibility in the rough patch we had, as does my wife for her part. My advice, as one who has gone through what you’re going through: step back at this point, let go of ALL resentment and anger, abd I mean ALL….let it go, because it’s causing you more pain and suffering than anyone else. Do EVERYTHING you can to make family cohesive and happy. Drop any negativity at the door, put a smile on your face and realize those are the two people that matter most in your life and treat them that way. Don’t be combative, don’t be resentful, don’t be snide. Be loving, generous, kind and humble. Only YOU can make you happy. That being said, do those things…let her see a different side of things, it will cause her to think about her reactions and her role in the relationship. Things may change, things may not. But YOU have to be the change in your world that you want. If it truly doesn’t work, and you’ve exhausted every avenue, be adults, separate as nicely as possible, and reevaluate in the near future…you may find out y’all can’t live without each other….you may find out your both happier apart.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT MOST.
Excellent Mark, thank you, brutha. Cheers.
I love what Marc said. I always look at it from my kids perspective. Say 30 years from now Lucas was in this situation….what would you tell him? What would you want him to do? We always want the world for our kids but sometimes it’s hard to believe we deserve the same. This way if years from now he asks about you and his mom, you can say ” I did what I would have wanted you to do in that situation.” Just an idea to think about. Good luck!
Good call Casey, thank you so much. 🙂
Honestly hun, cut your losses and kick her out. It isn’t worth the stress. Your son can pick up on that from the both of you and it isn’t healthy for him let alone you or his mother.
I went through this myself just over two years ago. I had to get a restraining order against my ex to protect myself and my children. Granted that still didn’t stop my ex, but it allowed me to get away and get some distance and some healing.
But in doing that, get an attorney and get an ironclad, every detail scheduled and planned out parenting plan set up. And be sure to follow it and hold her to it. This will save you, and have the courts on your side if she acts up later on or tries to pull drama on you. This will also guarantee you visitation with your son, and you can hold her in contempt if she denies you contact. Trust me, seeing your ex getting ripped to shreds by a judge for violating that parenting plan, while you bit your tongue is a beautiful thing (especially when they have to serve a jail sentence).
If you need ANYTHING let me know, I am only a text/phone call away. I’ve been here before and would be happy to help/lend any advice I can!
Jen
Thanks, Jen. Most appreciated.