THE MAYONNAISE JAR

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and two cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and fills it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “YES”.

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things – God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions. Things, that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.” he said.

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “There is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are
important to you…” he told them.

“So… pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Worship with your family. Play with your children. Take your partner out to dinner. Spend time with good friends. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the dripping tap. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled and said, “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.”

 

 

“The Only Time”

I’m drunk.
And right now I’m so in love with you.
And I don’t want to think too much about what we should or shouldn’t do.
Lay my hands on Heaven and the sun and the moon and the stars.
While the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car.

Nothing quite like the feel of something new.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
Maybe I’m all messed up in you.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
Maybe I’m all messed up in you.
Maybe I’m all messed up.
This is the only time I really feel alive.
This is the only time I really feel alive.

I swear.
I just found everything I need.
The sweat in your eyes the blood in your veins are listening to me.
Well I want to wrap it up and swim in it until I drown.
My moral standing is lying down.

My son is driving me crazy tonight, and it’s driving a wedge between Tahnee and I.  Neither of us is able to live our own lives because of him. Neither of us can spend time together anymore.  I see him drive her to the brink of a breakdown and I go in to try to help, and I get frustrated with him in the process, which drives her even more crazy, which drives me more crazy.  It’s non-stop.  There’s 18 more years of this shit, and I really am not looking forward to it.  

I just put on my Facebook status that he’s driving me crazy tonight, and all of these people are liking my status.  Fuck you all.  I’m glad to see that my misery is something that you all like.  

And I’m just waiting for my Mom’s typical response, “Payback’s a real bitch, isn’t it?”  Unsupportive advice might as well not be said.  Just pisses me off more.  

He’s driving us both to the point of extreme exhaustion.  And I’m not happy with my life because of him.  I usually just keep myself busy, but I’m so exhausted anymore that I just try to chill at home, but he’s always screaming bloody murder when I’m home, and Tahnee shouldn’t have to be the one that’s always handling the situation, although she does far more with him than I do.  So I try to help, but we both know that I’m not helping at all.  And that gets frustrating.  

I love spending time with Tahnee, but I don’t look forward to coming home anymore, because I know he’s just gonna drive me crazy again.  Everyone keeps saying that it’s gonna get better, but has yet to.  Pretty soon he’ll be walking and talking, and that’s gonna be better?  At least right now he’ll mostly stay in one spot and I can walk away for a few minutes when he’s driving me nuts.  How’s walking and talking gonna be better?  I’m not buying it.  When he’s in a good mood, he’s fun to have around.  But more times than not, he’s crying or screaming.  I hate feeling this way, but I just don’t wanna be here anymore. 

I’m fed up.  

In other news, I passed a kidney stone today.  Only two more to go.  *twirls finger*

I really wonder if I’ll ever be truly happy again. 

                Tonight was my first time taking care of my son alone.  It went pretty well I think.  He was grumpy for part of the night, and he was making totally stupid adorable coo-ing and random noises while smiling the rest of the night, and that right there, I know, is what makes it all worth it.

                I can’t help but to think that it’s the same day that my father had a lung biopsy for potential lung cancer.  I also can’t help but to think that ever since my father retired from his job at Boeing, his health has went downhill really quickly.  It’s not right.  You work hard all of your life, so that when you get older, you can relax, and enjoy the finals decades of your life.  Instead of my Dad getting the chance to do that, he spends four hours a day in the hospital getting infusions to keep his kidneys from failing from his parathyroid problems.  He really needs to be around to watch his grandchild grow up, because I know that the only reason I am as strong (and stubborn) as I am, is because of my father.  He’s the one person I look up to in my life.  Him and I have never really been that close, but we really don’t have to be, we both have an understanding of each other.

                My father retiring also reminds me that I’m never going to be able to retire unless I become really, REALLY rich, fairly quick, there’s not going to be a social security fund for me but the time I’m that age, if I even make it that long.  It’ll be nice if the world’s finances would stabilize between now and then, because right now, the way I see it, the dollar is going to be worth nothing, very soon.  But this rant is for a later time, I’m tracking off course here.

                Then I can’t help but to think what kind of father that I’ll be.  I don’t really feel like a good one, but I’m trying my hardest to be the best person that I can be for him and Tahnee both.  I constantly feel like it’s never enough.  This is all new to me, and I’m better at sticking with what I know.  Technology, photography, weather, emergency response scenarios, survival, I am excellent at.  Raising a child, hell if I know.  I sure am thankful that Tahnee’s good with kids, don’t know what I would do without her in this situation.

                What I do know, is that I am very thankful for everything I have in my life at the moment.  Good family, good future family (I’ll get to that in a minute), good close friends, good job, nice house, nice car, love everything that I do, and a very attractive girl that loves me, even though she has a hard time trusting me.

                This last weekend, my son, Tahnee, Tahnee’s Mom, and I went to Liberal, Kansas to spend time with her family.  If you don’t know where Liberal, Kansas is, Google it, it’s literally in the middle of nowhere.

                Anyways, I went to the middle of nowhere to visit future family in law, and actually had a good time.  I had already expected to have an alright time, but never thought that it would be a totally good and fun time.  That definitely says something.  I’m not sure what yet, but it definitely says something.

                It’s also definitely strange how much Tahnee’s cousin Ashley looks so much like Tahnee.  They look and act like twin sisters.

                This week, it’s non-stop work, as usual, an Iron Man 3 premiere, with a showing of Serenity afterwards at Midnight.  Date night will be fun.  My concern of course, was being able to find a babysitter after I bought the tickets so that I could be sure that we could make the movies.  I should stop being so concerned about things, so many people wanted to babysit.  Totally awesome that so many people wanted to help out.  That’s the stuff that makes me feel good about life.

                Also, it’s pretty important to note that Star Trek: Into Darkness, premieres in half a month, and I already have tickets for that, too.   And a babysitter lined up for that night.

                I need to start taking better care of myself soon.  I need to be around for my son.

                That’s all for tonight.  Enjoy the new blog site.  And enjoy Craig Ferguson, he’s pretty amazing.

Goodnight, Internet.

MM

Websites update…

This blog is now sitting at http://mathia.co – if you got here from one of my other sites, they might be shut down soon.  Here’s the update:

http://dj69online.com is shutting down.  I will continue to post local, regional, and national DJ’s, as well as my remixes on here but it’ll be here, at http://mathia.co instead of it’s own domain. 

http://kswx.net is also shutting down this summer.  All previous and future posts from there are and will be at http://mathia.co from now on. 

http://mikemathia.com is still the primary landing spot.  From this spot you can get to me or what I do however you’d like. All links on this landing page are now up to date. 

 

 

Things have been crazy lately, and busy as always.  Updates coming when I have more time. 

 

Mike

 

The Hacker Manifesto

by+++The Mentor+++Written January 8, 1986

Another one got caught today, it’s all over the papers. “Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal”, “Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering”…

Damn kids. They’re all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950′s technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a hacker, enter my world…

Mine is a world that begins with school… I’m smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me…

Damn underachiever. They’re all alike.

I’m in junior high or high school. I’ve listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. “No, Ms. Smith, I didn’t show my work. I did it in my head…”

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They’re all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it’s because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn’t like me… Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I’m a smart ass.. Or doesn’t like teaching and shouldn’t be here…

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They’re all alike.

And then it happened… a door opened to a world… rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict’s veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought… a board is found. “This is it… this is where I belong…” I know everyone here… even if I’ve never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again… I know you all…

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They’re all alike…

You bet your ass we’re all alike… we’ve been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak… the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We’ve been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now… the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn’t run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore… and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge… and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias… and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it’s for our own good, yet we’re the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can’t stop us all… after all, we’re all alike.